BUILDING A HAPPY HOME

 TOPIC: BUILDING AN IDEAL CHRISTIAN HOME

Text: Genesis 2: 18 – 25; Ephesians 5:21 – 33; Ephesians 6: 1 – 9

1.                  INTRODUCTION

The Christian nuclear family consists of the husband, one wife and children if any and may include house helps. The family is the basic social unit around which everything in society revolves. The church cannot be healthy when the families that make up the congregation are in disarray. Many Christian homes are far from God’s divine plan and purpose for the family. Satan has capitalized on the carelessness of many Christians to wreak havoc in the home. We need to be vigilant to stop the enemy from destroying our homes (1 Peter 5:8). God, the mastermind of marriage, has the best plan for marriage. Unfortunately, His children often look to the wrong sources for information and help.

2.                  REQUIREMENTS FOR CHRISTIAN HOMES

Christian Homes should have an atmosphere of love, friendship and forgiveness (Prov. 15:17;.Prov. 17:1;1 John 3:18). There should be unity and agreement of purpose : (Mark 3:25;Amos 3:3 Psalms 133: 1-3; Genesis 2:24). Mutual respect between husband and wife are commanded (Eph. 5:21). A consistent family altar should not be neglected. Our lives should reflect Christ by showing self-control even in the face of provocation (Ephesians 4:26; James 1:19-20; Eccl. 7:9; Prov.16:32).

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3.      ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS

All members of the family should understand and perform their God-given roles if they are to expect God’s best in marriage.

A.                ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES  OF THE HUSBAND

(i)                 The Husband should show loving leadership to the wife like Christ (Ephesians 5:25). He should treat her with utmost care and understanding giving honour to her as “weaker vessels (1 Peter 3:7).

(ii)               The husband is the breadwinner in the home and should provide food, clothing, shelter and other financial needs of the home (1 Timothy 5:8). While the present economic realities have made financial support from wives desirable husbands should not abdicate this responsibility to their wives.

(iii)             Provide spiritual leadership for the home including worship, prayers and church attendance (Gen 18:19).

(iv)             Provide protection and defend the home (1 Sam 30:1 – 20).

B.                  ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE WIFE

(i)                   Willingly submit to the leadership and authority of their husbands (Colossians 3:18; Eph.  5:22-23)

(ii)                 Love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4)

(iii)               Builds her home (Proverbs 14:1; Ruth 4:11)  by:           

(iv)               Be hardworking and provide financial support to their husbands(Prov. 31:13-19)

(v)                 Be attractive and meet the sexual needs of their husbands (1 Corinthians 7:3; Prov. 5:15 – 19; Song of Solomon 4:1-10).

(vi)               They should have a cordial relationship with their in-laws especially mother-in-laws (Ruth 1:16 – 18; Ruth 2:17 -18).

C.                ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS TO THEIR CHILDREN

(i)                 Teach them diligently the word of God(Deut. 6:7-9; 2 Tim. 1:5;Prov. 22:6)

(ii)               Provide for the basic needs of their children (1 Tim. 5:8).

(iii)             Provide formal and informal education for their children including skills acquisition.

(iv)             Appropriate discipline when necessary (Prov. 23:13 – 14; Prov. 13:24; Prov. 19:18). They should not be highhanded while enforcing discipline (Col 3:21).

(v)               Identify the gifts and talents of their children and help nurture them to greatness.

(vi)             Guidance and counseling of their children in their choice of career and life partners (Ruth 3:1-5; Gen. 24:1-4).

(vii)           Pray for their children and bless them (Job 1:5; Gen 27:27 – 29).

D.                ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF CHILDREN TO THEIR PARENTS

(i)                 Obedience and respect for parents (Eph. 6:1; Prov. 23:22).

(ii)               Involved in domestic chores at home appropriate to their ages

(iii)             Care and provide for their parents in their old age (1 Tim 5:4).

(iv)             Flee youthful lusts and lifestyles that would tarnish the image of the family ( 2 Tim.2:22).

4.                  COMMON CHALLENGES IN CHRISTIAN HOMES

Discuss solutions to the following identified problems in Christian homes.

A.                FINANCE

·                     Lack of openness and transparency of spouses on their incomes

·                     Materialism and reckless spending habits of a spouse.

·                     Inability of the husband to provide for the home due to job loss, meager income or laziness.

·                     Conflict in spending attitudes of spouses.

B.           COMMUNICATION

·               Inability to clearly express oneself.

·               Poor listening skills (James 1:19).

·               Insincerity and falsehood (Col. 3:9; Lev. 19:11).

·               Argumentative and nagging attitudes (James 1:19; James 3:6).     

C.                SEX          (1 Cor. 7: 1 – 5)

·                     How should a believer handle the problem of infidelity from his or how spouse? (2 Sam 11:1 -27; Proverbs 6:23 -29; 5:3-6)

·                     Infertility and barrenness (1 Sam 1:1-6; Genesis 30:1). Should believers explore options of sperm donation, surrogacy, adoption?

·                     Inability of a spouse to fulfill his or her conjugal duties due to several reasons including health problems.

D.                CHILDREN

·                     Stubbornness, ungodliness and rebellion(1 Sam 2:12)

·                     Exposure to social media and bad peer group influence (Psalms 1:1 – 3; Prov. 1:10).

·                     Partiality and preference of one child to the other (Gen.25:28).

·                     Worldliness and reckless ungodly lifestyles (Genesis 34:1-5; 1 John 2:15 - 17).

·                      Poor academic performance and unwillingness to study

·                     How should parents handle the problems of delayed marriage in adult unmarried children?

E.            UNBELIEVING SPOUSE

·                       Persecution from an unbelieving spouse

·                       Separation or Divorce (1 Cor. 7:9 -15).

CONCLUSION

It is God’s utmost desire for our homes to be peaceful, happy and a light to the world. This can only be realized when we are ready to submit to His word. We need to continually seek God’s wisdom to build our homes to the desired level (Prov. 24:3) .We should be ready to make our marriages work by adequately discharging our duties with love, patience and a forgiving heart. Your marriage will not fail in Jesus name.

PASTOR SOLOMON NWANERI